Sunday, February 1, 2009

Post #2: Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

Let’s call this guy Friendly. There is no actual setting but this conflict happened over a few days.

There are these two cliques of friends in the same CCA. Friendly is a popular guy and thus, both cliques like to include him in their own clique outings. Let’s call them the 1st clique and 2nd clique. There is this girl named Shorty in the 2nd clique. There is another girl named Tall who is the good friend of Shorty but is outside of the CCA.

Tall knew Friendly through Shorty. Tall seems to like Friendly and always messages him through handphone.

One fine day, Tall asked Friendly, “What are you doing now?”

As Friendly was with the 1st clique in one of the clique’s home, he did not want to let Tall know that he was with the 1st clique as Tall might tell Shorty (who is in the 2nd clique) that he was spending time with the 1st clique as 1st clique did not ask 2nd clique to go.

Thus he replied, “Oh, I am making a birthday card with my friends at home.”

However, Tall told Shorty that Friendly was at his own home during that fatefulday. And Shorty found out through someone’s blog that Friendly was with the 1st clique in someone else’s home on the same fateful day.

Shorty was mad and she thought that Friendly was telling a big fat lie. Thus, she blogged about this whole event, saying that Friendly is someone who wants the best of both worlds and has no mind of his own.

Friendly read Shorty’s blog and got very pissed. Thus, a major quarrel broke out.

How would Friendly feel? Does he know the actual reason behind this whole conflict? What do you think Friendly should have done? What do you think could have been done to prevent this conflict?

2 comments:

  1. Hi Huiwen, I have decided to try to solve your conflict issue because I think that this is a realistic scenario and I have had friends who experienced something similar. So here I go:

    Firstly, as you have mentioned, friendly definately would feel very angry for being called someone who does not have a mind of his own. But I believe that he would have also questioned himself as to what happened to make shorty label him as such.

    The best way to go about resolving this would be for friendly to approach shorty for cordial talk instead of confront her and accuse her. Both parties should allow each other to talk about their side of the story, and they should be truthful about what they say. Only by talking things out would they be able to pinpoint what went wrong and solve it.

    Friendly would of course have to apologise and explain why he lied. Similarly shorty would have to apologise to Friendly because she posted such comments about him on the internet, which is probably accessible to all of their friends, and she should have approached him before hand to ask him about the issue before concluding that he is a liar.

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  2. Hi Huiwen,
    In this case, the conflict actually has existed for long: Friendly wants to keep the good relationship with both cliques, which seems not to be practical since the two cliques don’t go on well. The incident just exposed the problem.

    Let’s consider Shorty first. It’s understandable that Shorty got mad when she found out that Friendly lied. But she should not have given vent to her anger by accusing Friendly in blog. Instead, she should have approached Friendly personally so that she can get to know the reason why Friendly lied. And the big quarrel may have been prevented.

    As for Friendly, I agree with Shu Ting that he should also question himself. Although it’s not easy for him to tell everyone that he hangs out with both cliques, he should have done this that he can feel much relieved and avoid telling lies which can be agony for him.

    Regards
    June

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